Hi and welcome to I am Erin Paula,
My photoalbum/scrapbook series.
As I have documented my transition over the years, I created annual scrapbooks documenting my progress in pictures and copies of my official documents, medical referrals and letters. Please join me in watching me grow into womanhood. I do like to add that personal information and pictures, printed in my scrapbooks at home, have been removed on this website. Some things should remain private. Also note that the medical changes are detailed and could be sensitive to some, but I want to provide complete information for those who are thinking about transitioning.
Picture of my actual 2018 photoalbum/scrapbook.
Last post-op appointment.
My last appointment with Dr. Keelee MacPhee was on Tuesday march 15, 2018. This was an emotional time for me. For the last couple of months we had an intensive schedule of skype and in office meetings. On this last appointment in her office she told me that anything looked okay and healed right. So I was “completely” transitioned now, at least in my eyes.
The way home from North Carolina to Virginia was very emotional for me, I cried almost the entire ride. Cried from happiness and sadness. Happy that I felt complete and sad because I am going to miss the interactions with my doctor. The relationship between us was pure doctor/patient, however it felt more than just that, I looked up to her as a great friend.
As it has been only 6 months since surgery, I did feel like my body has always been the way it is now. Actually I felt like that since day one. Nobody never really know what kind of body parts a person have, always assuming one of only two options, although there are more than just two. I feel confident about myself, and that shows. So I don’t care anymore, let them assume or guess, I know who I am. Yes you will still be “sired” occasionally, surgery is not going to stop that, only human respect will.
I can almost close this chapter of my transitioning. From now on forward it’s just a matter of fine tuning for me, get to know my new body. Yes it is a huge difference with a lot of things to learn.
Best gift from my parents.
2018 was also the year I received one of my most precious gifts from my parents. Due to my mom’s health she is afraid to loose her and my dad’s wedding rings. So she had them made into a necklace for me. They are shaped into two hearts and bonded together. I carry this necklace proudly, and only in my weekends and on special occasions.
I already have two rings from my mom, she gave me when I came out to her. These I wear all the time, not a single day I leave the house without them. But the wedding rings are the most precious to me, will always be. I kind of wish my father could have seen me in the new me. He passed away in 1996.
I have been visiting my mom each year, staying for two weeks, since the passing of my father. And always around the first two weeks of May, to celebrate mother’s day and my birthday together. Every year my mom sends me two birthday cards, one for my first birthday (6 may 1963), and one for my second birthday (4 October 2017).
Nothing is more important than the love and acceptance of your parents. Regardless if it’s for sexual orientation or gender identity, or anything else for that matter. I am lucky my mom loves me for who I am, and I am sure my father would be, if he knew. There are a lot of transgender people who don’t have the love from their family.
First time in bikini.
Being confident with your body is all it takes to feel okay to wear a bikini. Yes I am proud of my body and don’t mind to show it. Within limits of course. It took me 55 years to get there and to actually feel this way. I am not going to let anyone stop me from being happy with my body.
I know I am not a young girl or a model, I do have some extra weight around my belly, but I am not going to let that stop me. At least not at the pool and on vacation, as pictured here. Freedom and happiness baby.
So we were on vacation in the Netherlands and the weather was extremely warm for the season, at least for the Netherlands. Lucky me while grocery shopping at Lidl that day, I found a bikini in my size (38C/85C), so I bought it and went straight to the pool when we came back at our vacation bungalow.
Did people look? I bet they did. Did I care? Nope, not at all, I was just happy to finally be as free as a bird.
Vacation 2018, the best ever. Our family with friends, in the Netherlands visiting my mom.
Almost complete, since my granddaughter Gabriela is not here,
because she was to young to travel. She did visit in 2019 though.
Also not pictured is my grandson Jaylyn, since he was
not yet born.